Reminiscing the 80s & Early 90s

First of all, before i start rambling in my defense I'd like to say it's not that i am unable to appreciate the moment or that i purposely set out to make myself feel a tad melancholic. I think it's just that i am in a place in my life right now where it is not crystal clear, which is something unusual for me, where i am going or what i am doing. So maybe as a reaction to that i am reminiscing some of m best moments or phases where i felt fine even though nothing was totally mapped out. Just to make put it out there, I'm actually in pretty rather nice place in my life though my direction is still a bit unclear.But things are good ✔!


Now that that's out of the way, does anyone else feel like recently things have gone south? I mean what happened to the cartoon? What i mean is that we had really goood animations from the 80s: The Simpsons, Care Bears, The Yogi Bear Show, Inspector Gadget, Chip n' Dale Rescue Rangers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Ducktales and from the 90s: Captain Planet and the Planeteers, Doug ,Dexter's Laboratory & Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego? !

Perhaps, to most of you these shows probably suck, but honestly i remember enjoying watching these shows. I do not cringe with teenage drama from today's shows! Watching the 80s & 90s animations was actual down time, unlike today's animation where you find yourself taking a break from life's real dramas by watching cartoonish drama!

Somehow, even people changed. But i guess that's expected when you have wars waging all over the globe, people starving to death poverty consuming people like a disease with no cure.I guess people are not going to be as lax and as 'cheerful' as they where back in the 80s and early 90s; not to say that there were no wars or famine back then- but at least i felt people had some respect for other humans back then. And that kind of reflected everywhere and in everything, not just the way people treated each other. For example, music was way better. R&b & Rap lyrics were way cleaner  & was of a different caliber; and to quote Chris Rock from his Never Scared Show: "It's hard to defend 'Move bitch, get out the way'..."

People's tempers even changed! Just take a que from Jean Baudrillard and observe people's driving habits, like he did with the Americans. People these days have zero tolerance for drivers in their own country. For instance, consider the Lebanese people, who are 'known' for their hospitality, their generosity and kindness. Well i don't know if that applies to them full time or part time, that is not when they are on the road. I've been living here for quiet some time and let me tell you, I'll turn 22 by the end of the year and i still have changed my mind about driving in this country and in this fiasco. Running a red light here is a very normal thing, in case you aren't aware of that. Funny enough that's not what rubs me the wrong way about their driving habits. What gets to me is that these rather "generous", "hospitable" and "kind" people will honk their way out of anything, even when it's really worthless. I do not understand, why do they have to honk at the 50 year old guy and call him names and 'insult' him by saying he's old and "should drive on the right side of the road"? It's not like they are rushing anywhere..Bliss Street is not going anywhere, no is Rawche, nor is anywhere else for that matter! Do they not for one second think of anyone else? How can someone be selfish yet 'oh so kind'? I honestly hate it when i see an old guy driving and some crazed guy behind him hoking and beeping and sometimes even cussing at him to move. Why can't they be patient enough for the opportunity when they can get from behind him without such a commotion. And it might be a good idea to think why the old man is still driving..Maybe he has no kids to drive him and maybe he doesn't have a whole lot of money to spare a taxi's fair. Maybe he is just having a heart attack and wants to get to the hospital, instead of dying while waiting for the ambulance to get there, because everyone knows those are fast to answer the call.

I don't mean to attack the Lebanese people, but after living her for such a long time, traffic and people's attitudes can rub anyone the wrong way fast!And yes in case you're wondering, people weren't that nice back in the 80s and 90s, but i bet you a dollar they were nicer than are now. (from what i am told about Lebanon, from my own parents, people used to sleep with their doors unlocked and honest & hard work, no matter if it were farming or engineering was considered dignifying and proper work) But the point remains, that this is happening all over the world in different manifestations. Some in traffic, some in music etc..And though there are good things about our 2010, i wish people progressed while still retaining some essence of the the 80s and 90s. (at least the really good and cool elements)

It would be nice if we were nicer to each other and to Mother Earth. I guess other than high tech computers, cameras, cars, phones, ipods, TVs and other electronics, we could use some revolution in the ethics, compassion and humanity departments. But i am sure that is bound to happen, for every Enlightenment Age there is a Romantic Age.

Real Death

Death is not really an unusual thing, but people only seem to acknowledge it when it happens to famous and well known people. The past two years have been rather "fatal" to many well known people. We have lost Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Brittany Murphy,Natasha Richardson, Patrick Swayze and more recently, we have lost Dennis Hopper and Gary Coleman.

And of course like many people around the world i felt saddened to hear such news. But after a few moments i got upset with myself because people, adults and children alike die all over the world, but their deaths aren't so natural. Their death is due to famine, war and other unnecessary and preventable causes. I was upset with myself for perhaps 'honoring', for the lack of a better word, the deaths of some while brushing off the deaths of others. And yes i tried to rationalize it. I told myself that as a viewer i have come to be attached to some "celebrities" in the sense that i identify with them because of certain roles they play. But then i realized that my rationalization is totally B.S. because first of all these actors are "playing" some "role" and second of all, don't all these people in Iraq or the people in Africa have anything in common with me for me to identify with them over? After all, we are all human and humane. So whatever i have in common with those people in Africa and Iraq is still more solid than what i have in common with a mere created "role", regardless of how realistic and plausible it may be.

So, I just wonder have we as humans killed our humane nature? Yes, of course death is real regardless if you are an actor or an African orphan. And of course the death of either is a loss. But i really don't think we should place more attention on the death of a celebrity than on the death of an unknown and perhaps unfortunate person. And no, just because there is a lot of news about the rising death toll of the people in Iraq or Afghanistan does not give us the right to be numbed and thus, more accustomed to it.

I gotta admit i didn't know finishing the last assignment as an undergraduate yesterday night was going to brighten up my Sunday morning. The jazz sounds better, coffee tastes better, the sunshine seems more bright & yellow & even usual morning mood is totally different. I don't remember the last time i woke up singing. What's funny, i actually think my parents & my boyfriend are even more happy than i am about this turn of events.

But seriously, it's like one big block of cement has been lifted off of my chest! I really hope this old "new" feeling continues. And I hope i don't let it go myself. We've all heard stories about people who had freshly graduated and ended up not doing what they have always shelved and put on hold. I wonder how people who had just graduated end up going on trips like backpacking in Europe. I mean where do you get the money? I'm not about to ask my parents for anymore money after them literally financing my whole four year stay in university! And I'll be damned if i am about to ask the bank for money! So yeah, i guess i am still kinda wondering how am i going to finance my happy time?

The Beauty of the Moment

Just saw this and thought it would brighten up someone's day or at least make someone smile, just as it made me!

God, sometimes we really forget to stop and smell the roses. We just seem to be too busy with fulfilling our 'social' obligations, doing our work and well not working aka having alone / personal time, that we end up letting the real and good moments slip away right under our noses.

So, to keep it short and simple, stop, notice your kids, notice the clouds, the sun's rays on your bedroom floor, the flowers outside your house, the fruits on the tree's branches,the birds flying in the sky, the waves of a beach...Anything really has some kind of serene beauty if noticed and appreciated for what it is at the moment. So stop, watch the world in slow motion for a few minutes and enjoy!

Hopes and Dreams Caught in Limbo

Vincent Van Gogh once said: "I dream of painting and then I paint my dream." I wish it were the same for the rest of us. Yes, the man did end up going insane and all..but if you take a look at the world around us, who of us isn't insane? So might as well go insane in the name of following our hearts.

I wish it were as easy in the sense of having our dreams / hopes, come to us with a such a clarity that Van Gogh portrays in his words. If you're starting to wonder, as to why I'm talking about this in my first blogging, it's because I'm about a month away from my graduation, which makes me feel somewhat liberated.

For the first time in four years I feel like I can honestly contemplate going back to drawing, writing poetry and to photography, without feeling guilty about ditching my studies. I feel like a kid again, though I thought graduating would make me feel more like an adult. I feel like I want to just put on a pair of pants, a shirt & jacket, grab my bag out of my closet and hit the road. And just experience what it is to be a travel writer. But at the same time, I want to go buy a canvas and just draw the first thing that comes to mind. And i also want to go to my mom's room, get out her old camera and walk around and just snap pictures of anything that grab's my attention. Perhaps I should pack the canvas & camera into my bag and do all three. Right?

The said reality is,that would all be good and dandy, if I weren't an 'adult', who now needs to find a job or get into a Masters program. In more than one way I am liberated. But at the same time, now the guilt seeps through from other places and not from the "I don't want to skimp out on my studies" source. Now it's the I cannot mooch off of my parents' guilt.

But I am glad that I'm getting my interests back. It's good to feel good about things that make you feel better about yourself and about things that allow you to enjoy the company of your own self.

I hope that sooner or later, preferably sooner, that whatever I want to do and that which I can do, becomes clear to me. I hate being stuck in limbo, especially when I feel that I'm so liberated at the same time.

For now, I'll try to be like the man in the picture. Suspended in time and space till further notice, but still enjoying my moment.